He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
