I could have mohawked her pubes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
