It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
