She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
