singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
