today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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