Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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