he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
