So drunk, too bad you don't want this
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
