Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm bleeding and have questions
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
