Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
