come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
