I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We don't watch enough power rangers
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
