he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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