oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize