She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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