i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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