Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
