now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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