I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Mom said you looked used
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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