After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she peed on how many people?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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