And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Please, let me fuck your mom
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
