Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
