If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
