The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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