i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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