jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
