I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
