i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The power of my boobs compel you
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
