Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
