yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
