Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
