It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
