I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
