Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
