Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
