You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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