There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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