what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
