How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
