Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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