Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
