Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
