covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
