Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
