so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
