well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
