you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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