My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
