Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
